1. I judge you on your music tastes so. fucking. hard.
Do not fear, this is mainly done out of curiosity, since if you dwell in a certain genre but also enjoy other ones, I would connect them to your biography and it will make me happy. Example: you go to black metal gigs but still have an Evanescence pin on your messenger bag. That would make me smile and think: "hey, I also liked listening to rubbish when I was a teenager, I should give that person a hug".
On the other hand, you like Porngrind - probably a sick fuck; listen to novelty bands - a shallow human being; oi punk - alcoholic; gothic rock - sexually deprived, most likely.
I am very specific about my music, and varied as it is (I do love listening to different genres and am very proud of my broad horizons) I know exactly what kind of music I do and do not want to listen to. So just from a few seconds of a song I can know if I dislike it based on melody/ production/ genre etc. I wouldn´t want to listen to the entire band based on that one judgement, most likely. I realize this is foolish but I have saved me so much disappointment over the years with this strategy.
Also, this is pretty useful when it comes to to re-discovering bands. If once I thought a particular band was crap, I would come back to it, listen to their entire discography (which I poured with diarrhea at the time) and will be happy how nice it is that my tastes have changed and I can enjoy what it is that other people enjoy.
3. I will dismiss an entire genre based on a band I disliked.
It´s pretty much the same as with no. 2 on this list. Only this time, it is a lot more truthful and fair. Mayhem sucks - black metal sucks. Oasis sucks - brit rock sucks. It´s simple, just try it.
Or buying music for that matter. I download everything. Why should I have a fragile records player, trembling for it´s safety every time I move, plus storing hundreds of records that I already have on my ipod since years? I might buy music online, but let me check that nice Ukranian forum if someone has leaked it already.
But when our band´s music comes out you should totally buy and support us, ok? Bands won´t be able to live without hipsters and old school goths purchasing records like they can feed themselves on them. Amazes me each time.
5. I love to argue about bands I dislike and why they are overrated.
Just a common sport, I have not met a lot of people who do that but when I do, it´s always fun to criticize others, especially if they have the nerve to make music, more so if it´s not your cup of tea. And I don´t care if it´s your favorite band in the world, you shall hear everything.
I do love to discuss when someone dislikes the bands I like for that matter.
6. I judge you on bands you do NOT know.
Only if they are key bands in a certain genre, like Joy Devision. And I don´t care if you just got out of your mother´s womb (or out of the babybat closet, for that matter). Have you not heard about The Birthday Party?!? Einstürzende Neubauten??? The entire New York CBGB scene?? Oh get out.
Especially if it´s a contemporary band. Again, I know exactly what I want in my music, so maybe that´s why the approach. You have a band? Let´s see whatcha got, I am prepared to be disappointed in your interpretation of post punk revival mixed with neo- psychedelia pretending to sound like Lou Reed. Too bad, too bad...
8. I listen to "everything".
I swear if you are giving me this answer we are no longer friends. Alright, I listen to fucking everything as well, but come on- give me bands! Genres! Years! Origins! Not to mention your favorite band, which if you don´t have one then we obviously have nothing to talk about.
This should be enough. I encourage every one of you to join in and write something similar. Hope this has burdened you with dismay!